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1995-10-06
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918b
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31 lines
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE GOING THROUGH O.J. SIMPSON TRIAL
WITHDRAWAL
10. When your husband asks you to pass the ketchup, you start
screaming, "Objection!"
9. During a week-long vacation in Bermuda, you never take off the
knit cap
8. You pay thousands of dollars to have your cat's DNA tested
7. After ordering a Big Mac, you present a ten-hour closing argument
6. You won't get into bed unless your wife puts on the fake Ito
beard
5. You start watching C-Span -- just to hear people lying again
4. Whenever you see a Japanese guy on the street, you go up to him
and request a sidebar
3. You drop sixty bucks to watch Kato Kaelin take a pay-per-view nap
2. You go to the supermarket, sit down in front of a carton of O.J.,
and stare
1. You're having conjugal visits with yourself
Letterman, Monday, October 2, 1995
Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1995